King Of The Hill Pornography Story: AC Adoptor Chapter Three

Early
the next morning, back out at sea, the loud clanging of a bell jerked
Boomhauer rudely from his sleep. Grunting in surprise, he spilled out
of his below deck hammock. Around him, his shipmates crawled more
easily from their sleeping places, being used to the noise.

After
a quick morning routine the crew assembled on deck. Boomhauer noticed
how there was hardly any light. Why, they must have only gotten three
hours of sleep, tops!

Hey
man why we got-get up sdang early man? Boomhauer mumbled
drowsily, Mm talkin bout-sore muscles man, workin all
yesterday dang ol-tired
man..!

The
blonde man next to him wearing a blue bandana and a red waist sash
heard him. Turning to talk he whispered cautiously, Thats how
it always is under Captain Herschel. Twenty one hour days,
back-breaking labor, insane demands. We hate him! He glanced
around before continuing, Thats why were plotting a mutiny.
In fact, its scheduled to go off today. Now, youve only gotten
a taste of our misery, but howd you like to help?

Boomhauer
was taken aback by the offer.

I
dunno man, talkin bout dang ol-know nothin bout mutiny
man. he shrugged, hoping to be dubbed unworthy.

All
you have to do is attack stuff and beat up the captain! How hard is
that? asked the man incredulously, Come on, we need all the
help we can get. And if you help, well even make it our top
priority to get you back where you came from.

Boomhauer
looked at the mans sly grin, and felt that familiar feeling of
being cornered. Not seeing a way to avoid being drafted, or a faster
way home, he sighed and nodded in submission.

…
… … … … … … … … … … … …

Above
deck in the crows nest, the sun now high enough to glare in his
eyes, Boomhauer scrubbed away at the bird poo caked onto the wood.
Being a swabbie wasnt the best job in the world, hed noted.

He
looked down for a moment, and saw the pirates slowing down, dropping
what they were doing and exchanging nods. Boomhauer knew it was time
for the mutiny.

BANG!
A gun went off near the sprit of the ship.

Boomhauer
flinched, then ducked under the lip of the crows nest as the ship
erupted beneath him, shouts and people everywhere. Maybe, he thought,
he could avoid the whole thing if he just layed low. Or high, as the
case may be.

Below,
he heard Captain Herschel burst from his quarters, roaring, and began
to fire blanks left and right. The people he aimed at cried out in
melodramatic pain, then fell to the deck, their characters spent.
Once out of guns, Herschel pulled out his rapiers. Pretend stabbing
anyone who came near him, he backed up the stairs to the steering
wheel to gain an uphill advantage.

Come,
ye sea dogs! he called, Come, and have at you!

Several
revolters came forth to try and knock him down. After a brief, slow
and fake looking swordfight, every opponent dropped back down,
creating a small pile of dead bodies.

Topple
the mizzen mast! shouted someone, Crush him! He was met with
a rally of cheers, and with his eyes widened, Boomhauer realized that
the mizzen mast was the one he was sitting in!

As
his perch began jerking to and fro, Boomhauer staggered to pull his
head over the edge of the crows nest. He managed to stand, and
leaned over towards the pirates attacking the masts base.

Talkin
bout dang ol-WHOAH man..! he tried yelling to them, but he
was too quiet, and they continued their onslaught.

The
mast jerked suddenly the wrong way, and Boomhauer found himself
tossed from the tiny look-out. His hands grabbed wildly as he spilled
from it, and managed to find a rope from one of the sails before he
fell far at all. He was about to sigh in relief, but just then the
pulley system went into action, sending him plummeting once more. The
sudden action also caused the rope to snap, turning Boomhauers
plummet into a swing.

He
had the crews attention nowscreaming as loudly as he got,
Boomhauer swung directly for Captain Herschel, quite unintentionally,
and looking very much like a scene from the movie classic, Peter Pan.
The only difference being that his scream was from horror, not
confidence.

He
closed his eyes bracingly as he collided with the captain. The two
went down behind the helm, and the rope went slack. The crew waited
with bated breath to see who would arise victorious.

After
a moment, a back clothed in white emerged over the wheel, closely
followed by a groaning Boomhauer who was rubbing his head. He felt
something in his other hand, and brought it up to see what it was.
His eyebrows raised as the ships crew erupted into a wave of
cheers. Boomhauer was holding Captain Herschels hat! He looked
down at the unconscious man, then at the crew. The crew slowly
stopped cheering, and instead started up a chant of Hail ye, new
captain!

Glancing
again from hat to crew, Boomhauer sighed, shrugged, then placed the
hat on his head.

Dang
ol talkin bout-to Arlen man! he called in his best
commanding voice, one finger pointing over the waters.

The
pirates exchanged glances, but then scattered to obey.

…
… … … … … … … … … … … …

The
schooner pulled up along the beach Boomhauer had first washed away
from. Being too large to actually pull up to it, the ship floated a
couple hundred feet offshore.

What
the-? noted a pirate, Hey, this place doesnt even seem
pillagable! Whats goin on here?

Boomhauer
walked down the sterns steps and came to the side rail.

S
the way t dang ol Arlen man talkin bout-where I come
from. Dang ol that guy said comind be mm top priority man.
he explained, pointing to the man hed talked to that morning.

The
crew turned as one to glare at the man.

Well
that was before
I knew hed be the new captain, now wasnt it? the man said
indignantly.

Well
a ship has to have a captain! a woman pirate stated, If we let
him
go then whos left?

Snarls
of consent rose up at that.

I
vote we mutiny again! input someone.

Aye!
And toss em both off! Windle deserves it just as much.

Roars
of agreement. Boomhauer and the man hed pointed out were cornered.
Someone took the hat from Boomhauers head, and then the both of
them were grabbed by several pairs of arms. The two were lifted up,
swung a couple of times, then heaved over the schooners side.

Down,
down they fell, before landing with a large splash in the water.
After resurfacing and catching their breath, the two turned and swam
for shore. Behind them the crew yelled and whistled victoriously. By
the time Boomhauer and the man called Windle reached the shore and
looked back, the schooner was headed off over the horizon.

I
believe Ive just been expelled. Windle observed, his accent
changing from British to American. He sighed and attempted to
straighten his sodden clothes. Well I suppose this leaves me free
to do that cereal commercial in Austin I wanted to. That acting club
takes up way too much time, I tell ya. He gave his shirt a final
shake and turned to leave.

You
got a dang ol-car man? Boomhauer asked, both surprised and
hopeful.

Turning
back, Windle gasped, What?! No, Im an actor, not a lawyer. I
dont even own my soul! Nah, Ill just hitchhike where I need to
go. That or hijack a bus r somethin.

Boomhauer
blanched slightly, then waved off, Uh ok man then talkin dang
ol-bye man..!

Windle
rolled his eyes, shook his head and walked off. Boomhauer let out a
breath of relief, glad Windle hadnt asked him to assist in a
hijacking or something.

However,
deciding that hitchhiking seemed the fastest way home, Boomhauer made
his way to the road, where it wasnt long until a teenager-filled
convertible picked him up.

…
… … … … … … … … … … … …

Boomhauer
smiled and waved thanks as the teenagers pulled away from his
driveway. Now quite ready for a nap, he turned to go to the house and
saw his overturned garbage cans. He gripped his temples and groaned,
but walked over to them. He started to straighten them out, then
suddenly noticed some weird noises coming from across the street. He
looked up, but saw nothing. Looking first to his trash, then to the
source of the noises and then to his house, his face became weary.

Dang
ol-sort out all this noise an like tomorrow man talkin-got
t get some dang ol sleep fore I get all-talkin wrapped up
in shenanigans man..! he groaned, and waved off his garbage and
the noise in a pfeh manner. He walked into his house to get
some much needed post-adventure rest, and to change out of that dang
poofy pirate outfit!

…
… … … … … … … … … … … …

I
think were almost there! Bill exclaimed, Boy I cant
wait.

Wed
probably be there already if some
of us hadnt overslept Bill,
Hank and Bobby.
Dale accused, At least Peggy seems to be taking this seriously.

Ugh,
I dont think that midnight to five AM is the proper timeslot for
sleep. Hank scoffed.

It
is when youre on a mission..! retorted Dale.

Just
then a thunk came from behind them as Peggys shovel made
contact with something solid. The group came forward interestedly as
she brushed off the obstacle, revealing a flat, gray surface.

Peggy
gasped happily. Weve made it.

Then
stand back. said Dale as he came forward, pulling a bottle from
his pocket. This stuff even gets near
your eye and youll never see again. Or have eyes for that matter.

Peggy
stepped back.

Dale
pulled the top from the bottle, which turned out to also be a
dropper. He applied a couple squirts of the bottles contents to
the basement floor, and then stood back, smiling, as a large hole
came to be with a hiss. Then Dale pulled some folded cloth from
another pocket, flapped it open, and covered part of the holes rim
before hoisting himself up through it.

Were
in. he informed coolly.

As
she prepared to follow, Peggy noted, You sure are prepared, huh?

Is
there another way to be? returned Dale before helping Peggy
through the hole.

As
Hank came forward he sighed sadly. A perfectly good cement
flooring, ruined. Terrible. Just terrible.

He
was ignored and yanked through the hole by four arms.

…
… … … … … … … … … … … … … …

Ok,
lets make this a total blitzkrieg. No less than five minutes.
Peggy, you take the kitchen. Hank, you take attic. Bill, bedrooms,
and Bobby, you get whatevers left. Dale assigned the group
crouching at the basement door. They nodded, and Dale continued,
Flush em into the living room, where I will be waiting with the
rope and sleep gas. Ready?

Before
anyone, most likely Hank, could object to anything, Dale burst
through the door shouting Sgo! and the team dispersed
throughout the house. In no time, the shrieks and Laos curses of the
Souphanousinphones rang through the house as they saw their home
infested with hillbillies.

Crashes
came rapidly as Minh threw projectiles at Bill, whod found her.
Bill ran from Minh, who pursued mercilessly, into the assigned
meeting room. He dove behind the sofa as Kahn emerged from another
entrance, engaged in an intense mop-and-broom fight with Peggy.

Ahhh!
More hillbillies! Minh shouted, enraged. She lunged forward, ready
to break Peggys skull open with a vase, but Dale sprang from
behind her and pinned her arms with rope.

Minh
gasped. Gribble! I should have known you behind this! Untie me
right now you stupid redneck, so I can break your stupid red neck!

Sorry,
no can do. Dale answered. He finished his last knot and gently
shoved her onto the couch, where she spat very rude sounding Laos at
him. Bill scrambled to hide elsewhere.

Bobby
and Hank entered the room from their respected areas.

Connie
doesnt seem to be here. Bobby announced, a hint of relief in
his voice, Ive checked every room I can think of. Nothin.

Thats
alright, just means less trouble. Dale assured, then cheered to
Peggy, Woohoo, yeah! Knock him down, sgo, sgo!

Hank
stared in shock at the fierce battle before him. Shaking his head
sharply he demanded, Peggy?? What in the hellre you doin?!
That is not the proper use of a cleaning implement..!

Not
looking at him, practically spitting fire, Peggy cried out with each
smack of wood on wood, I know that!
Im..trying..to..win..us..what..we..came for!!

With
one last wide, wild swing, she robbed Kahn of his mop and sent him
backwards over the couch arm. Hank winced and Dale whooped in
appraisal before rushing forward to secure the angry man. Once
finished, he straightened and pointed to the kitchen, exclaiming,
Out of the room, quick!

The
group hustled to comply, and Dale hurriedly pulled the pin from a
black grenade-resembling thing pulled from yet another pocket. He
threw the already leaking piece from him in fear, and then quickly
joined the others in the kitchen.

Made
it myself. Chloroform bomb. he responded to the questioning faces
with a smile and a thumbs-up.

Does
that mean its safe to come out? Bills voice came from under
the table, and his head peeked out cautiously.

Loud
coughing came from the living room, followed by a thud as one
of the Souphanousinphones fell from the couch, and an eerie silence.

Yes
Bill, it is safe to come out now. Peggy said warmly, and Bill
smiled and stood up next to his teammates.

A
silence thick as soup ensued as they basked in what they had just
done.

..Wow.
Bill said at last, to which Bobby nodded and agreed, Wow.

Dale
gasped in sudden shock. Oh my god I just realized!

What?
What?! Did we forget something? Peggy asked frantically.

No!
I just realized that this the first time, like ever,
that one my schemes has actually worked!
Usually some unforeseen event, or Hank, stops me before I can really
get anywhere.

Hank
scowled at the remark, but stayed silent. Dale went on.

This
calls for celebration! he beamed, Raid the fridge, crank that
hard earned A/C to maximum! Warp factor nine, people, full speed
ahead!

Everyone
but Hank cheered and spread out. Hank raised an eyebrow at Dale.

You
watch Star Trek? he inquired.

Eh.
Research. Dale shrugged, and lit a cigarette. He didnt
elaborate, but as the shot faded to black he did add, Hope they
dont call the cops when they wake up..

Guh!
Hank exclaimed, previously not realizing that danger.