King Of The Hill Porn Story: Deathmatch – Chapter 1

Note: This may contain archaic references because I actually started it ages ago and finished it just now. I don’t own anything mentioned from hereon out, except the randomness.

Bobby and Joseph were putting markers up their nose and went to
the WWE with them and won a million dollars for beating some guy with
a Guitar Hero controller in a fart-off sponsored by FOX. Then they
wrote on a bar of gold. With their nose pens.

Here, Dad, Joseph said, its a million dollar massage.

Thanks, son, said Dale, and he wiped it on his face, which
made it purple. Then he went to the gun club and they shot into the
ground a million times and put bullets on their faces with honey
because it was war paint for the people who like to put stuff on
their face.

All of a sudden, KoRn busted down the door and started screaming
Freak On A Leash, but then it turned into an episode of Mind of
Mencia where Carlos Mencia was talking about how theres so many
Dee-Dee-Dees in the world because theres no natural predators, and
then KoRn made a video about it. Then they went inside a monkeys
head to play the song and the monkey farted. That made a Volkswagen
New Beetle spin around so fast it started screaming and turned into
pizza.

Back at home, Peggy, somehow back to normal, was playing Wii
Football and Luanne thought the HDTV they had was a window. Here,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty,
can I open the window?

Inside the game, Hank turned into an evil coach and made all of
the football players turn into the Thinker statue sitting on a
toilet. Then the ball hit the touchdown zone and the team got to do
free throws.

Back in sub-reality, Peggy got mad at the TV and threw the Wii
Remote into the HDTV, and it bounced off after breaking it and
releasing the cat and a toilet with Ladybird on it, and it hit the
window and Bobby started getting high off of beer. Shards of glass
went up his nose and he said, Stupid glass candy. Then he
merged with Ladybird with an incredibly dim light which blinked blue
because he had received new content which kept him up at night,
forcing him to put Family Guy in front of the light.

After the light faded, Peggy had to get free Wii Remote Jackets
after trying 5,006 times and Bobby and Ladybird had turned into
Chibi-Robo, who cloned himself and stayed at Wal-Mart, vacuuming
toilets and graffiti. He hit the button on the hand dryer there and
bacon shot out.

Cleveland from Family Guy came out of the bacon pile and started
talking about how to make precipitation cocoa-flavored. He said,
Cocoa-flavored liquid precipitation, I farted the other day.
Cocoa-flavored liquid precipitation, I farted the other day.
Cocoa-flavored liquid precipitation, I farted the other day.
Cocoa-flavored liquid precipitation, I farted the other day. Then
7 prostitutes came out and he said, Peter, you and 7 of those
prostitutes get out! Negative Peter came in and crashed the
Petercopter.

The cat from the HDTV was spinning in a circle and Luanne was
flying around randomly with her arm stuck in a wall and ramming into
everything because of a ragdoll physics glitch.

Later than all of a sudden, some dork from Half-Life 2 said,
Eghesngjheioshegeshnuigheghekljheklfjesklfklegnrehgklejtklreglknrlkjbvhrektjreklt,
Im the Scatman! But he wasnt and blew up randomly.

Bill Cosby from the Simpsons then said, With the pokey and the
man and the thing where Im going down the slope! With the dogs
pooping and nobodys scooping, because jazz is like the new Coke.

Then Stewie killed Lois but not really. Brian came in and said,
Dont you think that was a middle toe to the fans? He then
danced around a hat and flew out a window.

Back in some random prison, Earl from My Name Is Earl was trying
to make a list of farts. Hi, Im a voiceover, his voiceover
said. Then the warden came in and said, Lets make the show
green now! and he threw up all over the walls because he wasnt
drunk. Randy came in and said, Look at this, it turns into a Fruit
Roll-Up! and the prison became Gummi Bears.

Some random chick from Wyoming got hired by Disney and became Some
Random Chick From Wyoming, who sold a million tickets to scalpers who
then sold it for fried paint. Paint-Drinking Pete from that one
episode of the Simpsons came from Albuquerque and shot fireworks from
his nose.

Lucky got bored and told Luanne, still in a ragdoll glitch, Hey,
look, CSIs on. He changed the channel on the broken TV and it
was fixed. On the show, Johnny Cluestein found the secret
fingerprints or something because I dont watch that show. The
intro asked, WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?!?!? and a farting Mudkip
waltzed in and did the disco, saying his name was 300 Page iPhone
bill.

Boomhauer joined a bluegrass band, and he fell into blue grass,
which is water. He pulled a 5,000 mile long surfboard out of his
mouth and said, Dang ol Im, dang ol prepared, dang ol
for, dang ol a, dang ol long, dang ol captivity. He ran
into an invisible wall and Comic Book Guy stated, Yes, your
pathetic game does not go on forever.

And neither does this nonsense, because the shows over.

Are you serious?!? everyone screamed, before getting hit by
57 haikus.