King Of The Hill Porno Story: See Out for Peggy – Chapter Two

King
of the Hill

A
Connie & Luanne Episode

Watch
Out for Peggy!

Written by
Mr. Semaj

Act II

Scene I Home Alone

The
next day, at home, Lucky packs a backpack and grabs a water bottle.

Luanne:
So, its only for a day, right?

Lucky:
Sure. Im going out to explore me a bit of Mother Nature. I may
be in early retirement, but who says a feller cant go out and
enjoy it?

Luanne:
Ill be here waiting for you.

Lucky:
You enjoy your day, Baby Doll. (kisses Luanne)

Luanne
smiles sweetly. Lucky leaves in his truck.

Later
that day, Connie spends time with Luanne after school. The girls are
playing a game with action figures.

Connie:
And so, after we make it out of the asteroid belt, Cosmo journeys
to the outer planets.

Luanne:
Whats this big, orange ball up ahead?

Connie:
Jupiter.

Luanne
(checking flashcard): Correct!

But
now, Quasimodo has to look out for the moons. How many moons does
Jovial have?

Connie:
Sixty-three.

Luanne
(checks flashcard): Wrong! Theres sixteen moons.

Connie:
I think the book is dated.

Luanne:
Nice try, Connie. But Quasi is gonna have to avoid these sixteen
moons if hes gonna get to his prom date on Saturn.

Luanne
goes on a tangent and starts imitating a ship collision with the
moons.

Connie:
Lu, this isnt supposed to help me study for my astronomy test!

Luanne:
Sorry.

Up
ahead is Saturn. How many moons does Saturn have?

Connie:
Fifty-six.

Luanne:
Correct! And for the bonus round, name Saturns major
satellites.

Connie:
I prepared the names in mnemonics, though I cant remember how
it went

Luanne
is sniffing.

Connie:
What is it, Luanne?

Luanne:
Something smells good.

Luanne
scouts around the house until she approaches the kitchen. She spots a
large batch of cookies on the counter. Connie follows closely behind.

Luanne:
Oh my God!

Connie:
What are all these cookies for?

Luanne:
I dont knowis there any milk left?

Connie
checks the refrigerator.

Connie:
Plenty.

Luanne
starts eating some cookies.

Connie:
Um, Lu. I dont think we should be eating those.

Luanne
(with mouth full): But theyre good.

Connie:
I bet they are, but youre gonna get us int–

Luanne
stuffs a cookie in Connies mouth.

Connie:
Mmmm

Connie
puts the jug of milk on the counter, and starts eating cookies, too.

Scene
II The Missing Cookies

An
hour later, Peggy arrives home. Hank had arrived home half an hour
earlier.

Peggy:
Honestly, if the people in line are going to take advantage of a
sale, they need to check the dates on the coupon first.

Peggy
walks into the front door. Hank is sitting on the couch reading the
newspaper.

Peggy
(to herself): At least now we got the chocolate
sprinkles we need.

Peggy
walks into the kitchen. Theres a brief silence.

Peggy:
Oh my God, WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL OF MY COOKIES?!

(shouting)
Hank! HANK! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK! (voice echoes)

Hank
walks into the kitchen.

Hank:
What?!

Peggy:
Some greedy bastard ate all of my cookies! They are for my
promotion party tomorrow!

Hank:
Whoever ate them probably didnt know that.

Peggy:
Or maybe they did know, but wanted to sabotage me, because they
cant handle my superior standings over… (sudden pause)

You!
It was YOU, Hank!

Hank:
Me?!

Peggy:
Thats right. You couldnt deal with the car crash or your
contacts, so you tried to get back at me by ruining my reception at
the Bystander!

Hank:
I did no such thing! I dont even like chocolate chip cookies.

Peggy:
How else couldve done it? Certainly not Bobby; hes been out
with Joseph all day.

Hank:
I dont know what the hell happened to your cookies, but I cant
say you dont deserve it. You blame me for the car crash, and you
buy us contacts without my permission, which I already told you was
out of our budget. My contacts are causing my sales to go down. And
now youre blaming me for stealing your cookies?

Peggy:
Go ahead, Hank. You can keep blaming me for all your problems
while youre sleeping on the couch tonight!

Hanks
face boils red.

Connie
and Luanne are still playing together.

Luanne:
What is the name of the Planet X discovered on March 15?

Connie:
Sednia.

Luanne
(checks flashcard): Correct!

So
then, wheres Planets Y and Z?

Suddenly,
the door crashes open.

Hank:
Luanne! What did you do with all those cookies?!

Connie
and Luanne sit there innocently. Luanne had chocolate all over her
mouth. She makes a small burp.

Hank:
Those cookies were for Peggys reception! And now shes
yelling at me!!

Luanne:
Im sorry, Unca Hank.

Hank:
Sorry isnt going to fix this! Youre coming with me
right now!!

Hank
grabs Luanne by the ear, and pulls her out the room with him.

Luanne:
Aah! UNCA HANK!!!

Scene
III Take Her Back

That
evening, at the Gribbles home, Nancy had just finished polishing
her toe nails. The door bell rings. Nancy answers it.

Nancy:
John.

John:
Nancy, I want you back.

Nancy:
John, weve been over this before. I cant.

John:
Please, Nancy. Its hard enough that I cant be with my son
without him questioning my presence. I need someone to be with.

Nancy:
But what about all the other women you dated?

John:
Nine out of ten of them, I never see again.

Come
back to me, Nancy. All back messages will be on me.

Nancy:
Im sorry, Sug. Im sticking to my commitment, and thats
the way its gonna stay. (closes door)

John
walks away wiping the tars off his face..

Scene
IV Pity Party

That
night, back at the Hills home, Luanne and Connie are
sitting on the Hills couch together.

Luanne:
I couldnt get the baking soda for the recipe, but I managed to
bake all the cookies Aunt Peggy needed for her reception this
evening.

Connie:
So she doesnt know that it was us?

Luanne:
As far as shes concerned, its still Unca Hanks fault. She
still wont forgive him for the spat they had earlier.

But
I just dont know whats up with her lately. Shes more of a
pain than she usually is.

Connie:
What a surprise.

Luanne:
But shes driving everybody nuts lately. Even Unca Hank is
starting to lose it.

Conversation
from the kitchen.

Hank:
Bobby, I told you to wash the dishes and clean off the counter!

Bobby:
But Dad, I didnt even do any cooking today.

Hank:
Now look what you did. You dropped a chocolate chip into
Ladybirds dish. Youre grounded!

Bobby
(quivering): Dad, please dont make me clean out the
gutters out again.

Hank:
Get to it!

Bobby
starts crying.

Connie:
And I dont think Mrs. Gribble likes me that much anymore. She
wont let me hang out with Joseph anymore.

Luanne:
Maybe theyre both having their p-e-r-i-o-d-s.

Connie:
Perhaps. But what could possibly be getting them so upset these
days?

The
back door opens. Nancy is crying and wiping tears off her face.

Nancy
(wailing): I dont know what Im going to do! This
is driving me crazy!

The
front door opens. Peggy is crying too.

Peggy
(wailing): This is the worst day ever! Everybody is so damn
stupid!

Nancy:
Sug, John Redcorn gave up on dating, and he wants to take me
back!

Peggy:
Forget about John Freaking Redcorn! I was laid off from the Arlen
Bystander today!

The
distraught women continue crying as they slump on the couch. Peggy
slumps on Luanne, and Nancy slumps on Connie.

Nancy:
I dont understand. Ive been praying to God for forgiveness
ever since I broke up with Big Johnny six years ago. Now, hes
trying to blow my born-again purity to smithereens!

Peggy:
They hired a new manager at the Bystander last week, and he hated
the cookies I brought!

Tears
of anguish begin dripping on the carpet. As Peggy and Nancy continue
blubbering, Luanne and Connie struggle to get free from underneath
the two women, but to no avail.

Nancy:
Im totally lost, Sug! All the pressure is going to kill me!

Peggy
(screaming): I got fried from the Arlen Bystander! Doesnt
that mean anything to you?!!

Nancy:
Why are you yelling at me?!

Peggy:
You never listen to me!!

Nancy:
Cant you think of anybody besides yourself for once?!

The
two women start crying louder. Their shrill screams shatter some
glass in the living room.

Hank
and Bobby overhear the crying from the kitchen and cover their ears.
They creep out the back door. Ladybird follows.

Nancy:
I should get a divorce, but I just dont have it in me. I love
Dale and John so much.

Peggy:
I shouldve kept my job as a substitute teacher. At least I
actually had a job then!

The
two women exchange more sobs. Luanne and Connie, both hopelessly
squished beneath the blubbering women, shrug their shoulders.

Scene V
Peggy and Nancys Fallout

The
next day, Bobby and Joseph walk home from school.

Bobby:
Maybe its me, but something seems to be wrong with Mom these
days. It cant be the contacts, though she and Dad look quite
different with them.

Joseph:
You think you got it bad? You probably already noticed how
every time we spend time with Dad, Mr. Redcorn always joins us.

I
just dont know what to do, Bobby. I really respect Mr. Redcorn,
but I just dont understand why he always wants to hang out with
me. All I know is that hes very close friends with my mom,
but hes of no relation whatsoever.

Bobby
(uneasily): Umyeah.

Joseph:
My mom wants me, Dad, and Mr. Redcorn to bond, and weve
done so much of that, that I havent seen much of Connie
outside school lately.

Bobby:
Yeah. Connie is one hot piece of ass.

Joseph:
(chuckles) I know.

And
all the time I spent with my dad has shown me how weird he
is.

Bobby:
Well, at least your dad is not high-strung.

Joseph
(imitating Hank): I am severing the tree limbs as per
instructed in the manual.

Bobby
(imitating Dale): Nancy, the government is after me!
AAH!!!

The
boys share a laugh as they arrive home.

Joseph:
Yeah, both our dads are messed up.

Bobby:
Amazing theyve stayed friends for so many years.

Joseph:
Well, see ya, Bobby.

Bobby:
See ya later, Joseph.

Bobby
walks into the door. The first thing he hears is Peggy shouting at
Nancy over the phone. Then, he sees outside the window Nancy scolding
Joseph for something unknown.

Hank:
Bobby (Bobby goes to see what Hank is up to)

Connie
and Luanne listen to the argument from Luannes room.

Luanne:
Still no luck with Joseph?

Connie
nods negatively.

Peggy:
After all the years weve known each other, you wont even
help me find a new job?! Fine! See if I care about your stupid love
triangle, you dumb blonde! (throws telephone receiver on the
dialer, the whole phone drops on the floor)

Thats
it! Ive had it with that wishy-washy bitch! Im telling Dale
Gribble and put an end to this charade once and for all!

Connie:
My God, this is serious!

Luanne:
Maybe we should warn Mrs. Gribble.

(calls)
Hey, Mrs. Gri–

Connie
covers Luannes mouth.

Connie
(whispering): No, Lu. We cant let her know about this.
Understand?

Luanne
nods affirmatively.

Bobby:
Psst. Girls.

Connie:
Bobby?

Bobby
(whispering): Dad is holding a meeting at Stricklands
tomorrow evening. Everyones invited, but dont tell Mom.

Connie
& Luanne (whispers): Okay.

Peggy
(bellowing): BOBBY! GET IN HERE AND FINISH YOUR APPLE BROWN
PEGGY!!!

Bobby
(meekly): Yipe. (leaves room)

(end of
Act II)