King Of The Hill Pornography Story: Arlen Mowerthon 2006 – Chapter 1

Arlen
Mowerthon 2006

By
Joe

Summary:
Hank and his friends prepare for the Arlen Mowerthon 2006. However,
he is in the shadow of more powerful competitors.

Author
Notes: I do not own King of the Hill, its characters, or
any other copyrighted material. I do, however, own my original
characters, Phil, Tyler, and Joe.

Chapter 1

Hank was
in his garage tuning his red riding mower. He wanted to ensure it
ran top speed for the Arlen Mowerthon 2006. It had been a number of
years since Arlen had been selected to hold a lawn mower race. Hank
competed in one years before, but he had trouble racing because of
his diminished glute. This year, though, he was more prepared and
felt that his chances of winning were greater.

Dale
entered the garage at that moment. Fixing your mower, Hank?

Yep,
I sure am, Dale. You know, this mower could go 7 miles per hour tops
before I tuned this. Now, I estimate it can go at about 30 miles per
hour, said Hank, still turning his wrench.

Wow,
Hank, Dale said. How did you manage to get up to such an
impressive speed?

Well,
I had to replace some parts in the engine and did some more work here
and there to give it greater horsepower. I also rearranged the gears
to set each one faster. I also had to remove the cutting deck, too.
It was extra weight that had to be sacrificed.

Sounds
like a hard job, Dale said.

Oh
believe me, it was, Hank said. I knew it would be a pain in
the neck to go through all that work, but I knew it would be worth
it. I think that this year, I can win the Mowerthon trophy. And
Dale, if its okay with you and the guys, Id like you to be my
pit crew.

Id
be honored, Hank, said Dale. He paused. Just as long as I get
to ride it during the race.

Hank
sighed, Sure, Dale, but just once. You may not be used to its
handling.

Then,
Bill and Boomhauer entered the garage. Hey guys, Hank wants us to
be part of our pit crew! Instantly, a burst of excitement came
from the two.

Settle
down, guys, Hank said. All right, each of you will get to ride
the mower once, and only once during the race. After that, I will do
the rest.

Dale
turned to Bill. Bill, how many laps do the drivers have to make
this year?

Bill
took out the Arlen Mowerthon 2006 brochure. He read, Contestants
must make 5 complete laps in order to qualify for the trophy.

Dale
looked Hank square in the eye. Sounds fair to me, he said. He
shook Hanks hand. Youve got a deal.

Yknow,
dang-ol who-we-competing-gainst? Boomhauer slurred.

I
dont know. Our only competition is one guy with a two-man pit
crew, said Hank. He then laughed. But whoever they are, I
really doubt theyre any threat to us! The guys laughed their
heads off at the comment.

Meanwhile,
miles away, three teenagers were in a garage. The garage belonged to
one of them, whose name was Phil Harris, Jr. He was 66 and
weighed well over 310 pounds. He was wide, big-boned, and had a lot
of muscle. However, he also had some fat as well. Phil had dark
brown hair and wore rectangular glasses. Phil wore dark-red plaid
shirts and blue jeans with big western belt buckles. Phil also wore
tough leather boots. Phil worked with a lot of diesel engines as a
hobby, so he considered himself to be a diesel mechanic. Without a
doubt, that was the kind of job Phil dreamed of getting when he got
older.

Phils
friends, Tyler and Joe, were quite interesting characters as well.
Tyler was a few inches shorter than Phil at 62 and usually wore
dark green shirts and brown pants. Tyler had shaggy brown hair and
was slightly on the skinny side, though he wasnt really skinny.
He had a girlfriend named Ellie, and he was a big-time liberal. The
other person, Joe, was very short at only 53. He was of
average build, though he considered himself skinny. He weighed 130
pounds, but he wanted to gain weight so that he would weigh 150
pounds. Joe was a stock market nerd and followed the ups and downs
of the stock market indices day by day. He wore red neckties with
white shirts and black pants and carried a briefcase full of stock
quotes.

Phil,
are you sure this mowers going to work? Joe asked, while having
his laptop perched on his lap. Joe was checking the stock quotes as
he talked to Phil.

Oh
yes, definitely, Phil said. With the modifications I made, my
black, diesel-powered mower can now travel a marvelous 40 miles per
hour.

Forty
miles per hour! Thats insane, Phil! smiled Tyler.

You
know it! Phil grinned.

So,
whats the point of making the mower so much faster? Joe asked.

You
see, Joe, theres a lawn mower race in Arlen, Texas. Its called
the Arlen Mowerthon 2006. Ive never had the time to participate
in a lawn mower race until recently. I dont want to miss the
opportunity, so I decided to register for the race. I signed you
guys as my pit crew.

Awesome!
exclaimed Tyler.

Gee,
thanks, Phil! said Joe.

Anytime,
Phil said. Phil then started the mower to demonstrate to his
friends. It started with a loud noise. VRROOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
Tyler and Joe seemed very annoyed and irritated by the noise, but
Phil acted as though he didnt even notice it. Phil then switched
gears on the mower, which made the mower proceed forward. Instead of
going at a nice, steady speed of 5 miles per hour, the mower took off
down the driveway at 20 miles per hour! Phil had only switched to
the first gear, and already, the mower was going half speed. Tyler
and Joe looked amazed, and Phil acted like he was having the time of
his life. Phil then got into the street and turned the mower around
toward Tyler and Joe. The two got out of the way, and then, Phil put
the mower in park. You guys want to go for a ride? he bellowed
over the engines noise. Tyler and Joe nodded. Phil then shut off
the mower and attached a trailer with two chairs in it. Tyler and
Joe sat in the chairs. Then, Phil started the mower again, and then,
he put the mower in reverse and turned it so it could head down the
driveway. Then, Phil put the mower on the first gear, and then, they
took off down the road again.

This
mowers awesome, Phil! Joe exclaimed as Phil turned onto the
street.

Hold
on, were going to gear 2! Phil yelled. He shifted to gear 2,
and then, the mower went 25 miles per hour. How about gear 3?
Tyler and Joe eagerly nodded. Phil then went to gear 3, and the
mower went 30 miles per hour. On impulse, Phil shifted all the way
to gear 5, where the mower went 40 miles per hour! The trailer in
the back started rattling. Phil had not designed it to go at such a
high speed. Tyler and Joe bounced around, and finally, the trailer
snapped off, while Phil blazed off on his mower.

Phil!
Phil, come back! called Tyler.

Phil
turned around and looked. Huh? he asked. But Phil didnt
see where he was going, and his mower rammed into a mailbox. There
was a tremendous explosion, and smoke and flames were everywhere.
Tyler and Joe walked over to accompany Phil. Fortunately, he was
okay and didnt suffer from any injuries. His tractor, though, was
another story. Ive gotta fix that, he admitted.