King ofThe Hill
A Peggy & LuanneEpisode: “Back 2 Back”
Act III
Part I: Peggy Apologizes
(Peggyand Luanne are lying on the couch ignoring each other. The cold airstill gives Luanne the chills as Peggy hogs up the pillow andblanket.)
(Peggy is frowning toherself. Then, she starts thinking, and slowly, she began to feelregretful.)
Peggy:”Luanne? Honey, are you wake?”
Luanne:(shivering) “Yes.”
Peggy:”Luanne, I have been thinking about this weekend. We both gotourselves in a situation that has affected us tremendously. Now, I amnot the one to hold a grude, so I just wanted to say that…I forgiveyou. (Luanne stops shivering)
Iknow you did not mean to bond us together like this. I made a promiseto your uncle that we would not get into any trouble this weekend,and we both broke that promise. But I am willing to make a freshstart first thing tomorrow.”
Luanne:(diary) “It was then that I knew she was justsaying sorry in her own way…”
(toPeggy, regretfully): “I’m sorry, Aunt Peggy.”
Peggy:”I am sure you are. Now let’s get some shut eye, and startbehaving like the civilized Platter women we are, huh?”
Luanne:”Yes, but first, could you gimme some of your blanket? My toesare freezing.” (scrunches toes)
“AuntPeggy?” (Peggy snoring)
(Luannesighs dejectedly)
Part II: Peggy and Luanne Wake Up
(Thenext morning, a Sunday, Peggy puts her shoes and glasses on. Luanneties her hair bow together.)
Peggy >:”Well, it is the last leg of the weekend, and we are stillpasted like the wasted.
(silence)
I’m making waffles. Do you want some?”
Luanne:”Yes, please.”
Part III: Connie’s Glue Solution
(Laterthat day, Connie comes over to the Hills’ residence)
(doorbellrings; Peggy answers)
Connie:”Hi, Mrs. Hill. Hey, Luanne.”
Peggy& Luanne: (wearily) “Hi, Connie.”
Connie:”I think I found the solution to your problem.” (shows acan of adhesive dissolvent)
Peggy:(surprised) “My God! We have been looking everywhere forthat! Where did you get it!”
Connie:”I had some left over from last year’s science project on thesolar system, which I won. I was borrowing some bouncy balls torepresent the sun and planets.”
(thegroup heads over to the living room)
Connie:(reading instructions) “Okay, make sure the adhesive isstored at room temperature.”
(asksPeggy) “Is it, Mrs. Hill?”
Peggy:(eagerly) “Yes, go on.”
Connie:(instructions) “Spray directly onto adhesive. Make surethat the model stays perfectly still”.
(asks)“You guys ready?”
Peggy:”Yes! Let ‘er rip!”
(Conniesprays dissolvent directly over Peggy and Luanne’s backs. Nothinghappens.)
Luanne:”Now what?”
Connie:(instructions) “The glue will completely dissolve withintwo hours.”
(asks)“You guys wanna watch some TV?”
Peggy& Luanne: “Okay, sure.”
(Nearlytwo hours later, Connie is sitting on the couch, Peggy and Luanne arestanding next to the couch, all watching Monsenior Martinez
(Connielooks at the living room clock)
Connie:”Well, it should be at least two hours, Mrs. Hill.”
Peggy:”Well, since the time is almost near, I’ll go fix us somelunch.” (walks off to kitchen; Connie continues watching TV)
(Peggypours some water into a glass; has sandwiches and drinks all preparedon a food tray)
(Peggywalks back to the living room. The glue officially begins to wearoff.)
Peggy:”Okay, I got the sandwiches…”
(Gluebreaks; Luanne screams while she falls off of Peggy’s back and thudsonto the ground)
Connie:(gasps) “Hey, it worked! You guys are finally free!”
Luanne:(ached) “Thank God…”
Peggy:”And just in time for me to get ready for my Boggle game withthe girls. YES!” (jumps happily, bone cracks)
“Ow!”(limps away with ached back)
(Luanne, having beensuspend for 48 hours, has trouble getting up. She gets up , andspreads her arms and legs slowly)
Connie:”So Luanne, now that you’re free, you wanna hang out?”
Luanne:(fatigued) “Sure thing, Connie. I just need to finishdoing some stretches.” (walks towards her room, then stumbleson the rug, falling near Connie’s feet)
Connie:”We can just stay here, if that’s better for you.”
Luanne:”No problem.” (sheepish grin)
Part IV: Boggle Game (I)
(doorbellrings, Peggy answers)
Minh:”Hey, Peggy Hillbilly!”
Peggy:”Stop calling me that!”
Nancy:”We’re ready for your Boggle game, Sug…”
Minh:”…And we be more than honored if your rear viewer could joinus.” (both women giggle sinisterly)
“C’monPeggy, show us your new appendage.”
Peggy:”Well, ladies…” (turns around) “…take agood look!”
(Minhand Nancy stop giggling)
Peggy:”Uh-huh, that’s right. You will find that my new appendage wasremoved a tad earlier than expected.”
(Minhand Nancy shifts their eyes toward each other smugly)
Peggy: (withenthusiasm) “So who’s up for a game of Boggle!”
(thegroup assembles at the kitchen table)
Peggy:”Okay, girls. Get ready to play Boggle…Peggy Hill style.”(Minh and Nancy roll their eyes in disgust)
(Peggyrattles letter box)
Peggy:(slams box on the table) “Ho yeah!”
(womenwrite down their words under the timing of the hourglass)
Peggy:”Okay, girls. Add ’em up!”
Minh:”Seventeen words.”
Nancy:”Twelve, Sugs.”
Peggy:(resignedly) “Oh dear…I only have –“(triumphantly) “Twenty-four words!”
(chucklesarrogantly, Minh and Nancy gasp) “I told you ninnies to puton your best game!”
(rolling’R’) “ROUND TWO!”
(Peggyrattles letter box with a smirk; Minh and Nancy groan)
Part V: Hair Talk
(Luanneand Connie spend time together in Luanne’s room)
(Luannecombing Connie’s hair; Connie reading a magazine)
Connie:”So, if you don’t mind my asking, what was it like attatched toyour aunt these past two days?”
Luanne:”It was awful. We did all these boring things, I ate a lot offood I didn’t like, I kept getting suqeezed into cold, tight spaces,and everybody around town was staring at me like I was some kind offreak.”
(finishes combingConnie’s hair) “And, and…”
Connie:”And what?”
Luanne:”And…Aunt Peggy got me suspended from my job!”(releases Connie’s hair)
Connie: “Gee,Luanne. That’s terrible.”
(Luannesprays Connie’s hair)
(Connie looks in themirror at herself)
Connie:”Wow, that looks perfect. Thanks a lot!”
Luanne:(quavering) “You’re welcome.” (starts crying)
Connie:(puts hand on her shoulder) “Aw, don’t cry, Luanne. It’snot your fault. You’re the best hairstylist in Arlen. It’ll all goaway before you know it.”
Luanne:(supressing cry) “You mean it?”
Connie:”Absolutely.”
Luanne:(sniffling) “Thanks.”
Connie:(wipes tear from her eye) “Don’t mention it.”
(fixes Luanne’s hair bow) “That’swhat friends are for.”
(bothcuddle; Luanne sighs contently)
Part VI: Boggle Game (II)
(Peggyrattling letter box, then slams it on the table)
(womenwrite down their words under the timing of the hourglass)
Peggy:”Okay, count ’em up!”
Minh:(bored) “Thirteen.”
Nancy:(yawns) “Eight, Sugs.”
Peggy:”Well what do you know?” (shouts) “I GOTFOURTY-NINE WORDS!”
(Peggylaughing hysterically, as Minh and Nancy stare at each other withfatigue)
Nancy:”Sug, maybe we better call it a day.”
Minh:”Yeah, at this rate, you find every word in the dictionary. Youalready pick up few Laotian terms these past thirty rounds.”
Peggy:(wags finger) “Uh-uh-uh. You girls cannot back out on menow.”
(starts rattling letter box) “We have noteven gotten to the lightning round yet.”
Nancy:(slams hands on table) “Sug, just DROP IT! You win! WEQUIT!”
Minh:”I go home before you boggle our brains silly!” (Minhaccompanies Nancy to the door)
(under her breath) “Stupid redneck.”
Peggy:”Fine! I do not need you losers! I can have plenty of funplaying Boggle by myself!” (women slams door shut)
(Peggy sits at table for a few seconds tappingpencil, humming to herself. Clock ticking)
(to herself) “Well, THIS is fun!”(pauses)
(getsup out of chair) “I’m just going to finish my dinosaurmodels now.”
(walksoff to the living room)
Part VII: Video Game
(Connieand Luanne playing the Columns video game in Bobby’s room)
(Connieplays more diligently, Luanne gets confused)
(Connie’sfinal columns disappear, as Luanne’s pile up; the game ends)
(Connietypes her initals into the high scorerankings)
Luanne:”Gosh, Connie. I thought you hated video games.”
Connie: “Nah. Columns is an old-timefavorite. I happen to like games that exercise the mind. Besides,just between the two of us, I could whoop Bobby’s ass at this gameany day in a week.”
(Connieand Luanne share a giggle)
Minh:(calling from her house) “Connie! Time to come home!”
Connie:”Well, Luanne. I had fun. I’ll see you later.”
(bothgive each other a big hug)
(flashback ends)
Part VIII: Luanne Goes to Bed
Luanne:(from diary) After that, I finally helped Aunt Peggy finishher dinosaur model. She took all the credit as usual.
Onthe first weekend of summer, it was the weirdest weekend in my wholelife. I should be returning to Mr. Jack later this week.
Asfor Connie, she’s a lifesaver…and a true friend.
(closesdiary)
(Luanne turns offlight and goes to bed. She snuggles with her favorite teddy bear)
Part IX: Hank and Peggy’s IntimateMoment
(Hankand Peggy in bed. Hank takes his sock off)
Hank: “…And then after the bear had Dalecornered, Joseph crept up and tackled the hell out of it. Thatson-of-a-bitch was gone faster than a propane discount.”(chuckles, takes off glasses) “I never thought I’d see abear fight in person, let-alone that thrilling.”
“So,how was your weekend?”
Peggy: (takes off glasses) “Well,Luanne and I had a GREAT time. In fact, if you did not know anybetter, which I am sure you do not, you could say we were ‘joined atthe hip’.”
Hank:”What’s that supposed to mean?”
Peggy:”Nothing, honey. You wouldn’t understand; it’s a girl thing.”
Hank:”But you remembered to keep your promise didn’t you?”
Peggy:(wraps arms around Hank) “Hank, just shut up and kissme.”
(Hankand Peggy kissing each other warmly)
(both sink under thecovers)
Peggy:”Ho yeah!”
(end of Act III)
The End
Tagline
Minh: “Hey,Peggy Hillbilly!”
Peggy: “Stopcalling me that!”