Love is a rare commodity for me.
In my life there’s only been two men I’ve dated, Bobby Hill and Chane Wasanasan. Even at 16 years old I only French kissed, while some say it’s good to have those values. But… There’s times I felt like there’s something missing, that was being fulfilled.
That changed one night.
–S–
“Mihn, we’ll be late,” my father shouted.
“I’m trying to find a caretaker for Khan Jr.,” my mother answered.
“But I want to rub in this lighter into Ted Wasanasan’s face.”
200 dollars for a lighter, what a waste, I thought. What this whole thing is about, the Wasanasans were hosting an adult party where dad is going to show off this lighter that was auctioned off on the internet that Ted was bidding for.
I have no idea why but I don’t ask questions about my dad’s bouts of insanity. Just ride it out, that’s what I’ve learn.
“I can stay over at Bobby’s,” I said.
“I don’t know,” my mother said. She looked over at my father who was caressing the box that the lighter was in. “Might as well.”
I grabbed my coat while walking out the door, I heard my dad said something about have Ted choke on the prize. It was a bit chilly out even walking between houses, Gripping the collar a bit tight as I felt a slight wind. I knocked on the door, I was a bit surprised to see Luanne answer the door.
“Hi,” I greeted. “Is Bobby home?”
“I’m sorry Khannie, he’s at a friend’s,” she replied.
“Do you want to come in.” She stepped a side, I was glade too. For some reason it was kind of cold this year, “Would you like me to take your coat?” she asked me. I shrugged and too ok off my coat than handed it over.
“Would you mind if I stay here while my parents go out?” I asked to be polite.
“No, I don’t mind.”
I walked over to the couch, there was one of those teen dramas on. Not a very good one at that, but I was the guest. Luanne sat down on the couch next to me. At first my mind was playing tricks on me but Luanne seemed to be in deep thought about something, the way she stared blankly ahead and how she was chewing on her thumb. It must have been something important.
“Man,” I spoke, breaking the eerie silence between us. “That is so fake, I have never seen anyone kiss like that.” I realized what I said and kind of felt a little embarrassed for the moment. Strange thing is Luanne looked like she was embarrassed too.
“Geez,” I said. “Their tongues are practically all over their faces, didn’t anyone on this crew did any research or something?”
“I remember a guy that did that,” Luanne said as she pulled her leg under her. “He didn’t last a month.”
This reminded me something. “Come to think about it, Chane kissed like that too.” It was true, he try to shove his tongue down my throat than slather it around my lips. I hated that.
She snorted, “why do we have to endure such stupidity?”
I notice something about how she said that, like it was underlining something else. “What do you mean by that?”
She then kind of tense up, there’s something in her eyes as she looked away. That’s when I figured something out. “I hate to ask this,” I said. “But are you…?” I can’t believe I asked such a stupid question.
“I-I don’t… Know,” She stuttered out. She was looking away from me, did I insult her?
I felt sorry for her. “It’s okay, you can tell me,” I try to comfort her. She struggled away and focused on the tv, I kind of felt like I did something wrong. I felt there was only one thing to do, “if it makes you feel better, you can check by-“
“NO!” She jumped right up. “Khannie… It’s can’t be figured out in a kiss or anything like that?”
I watch her, she was staring into my eyes. Falling into them, while I was doing into her’s too. “There’s more to this, it’s emotions and feelings.” I felt a deep twinge within me.
I gaze deeply into her eyes. “Well, how do you know if you know… I feel like I am gay too.”
It was true, I’ve been feeling so out of the loop for my entire life.
“I don’t have the answers, Khannie.”
I pulled my legs underneath me, I wanted to ask one serious question.
“What do you think of my body?”
That knocked her though a loop. “What?!”
“I’ve watched you every since I’ve met you, wishing to be as developed as you,” I said. “I want to know, are you attracted to me in someway? Despite age?”
She was silent, than she spoke. “You’re just my type.”
Hearing that I just couldn’t control myself, jumping forward I wrapped my arms around her while leaning forward. I press my lips against her’s while I slowly slip my tongue out, I was about to French kiss her but something was wrong. A sense of being pulled, that’s when I realized we were falling.
We both landed on the floor hard, I try to say sorry but Luanne smiled. “Want to go out tomorrow?”
I was slightly stunned but I just said, “six?”
I sat on the couch to watch tv until mom and dad came back, dad seemed to be depressed like after so many times to screw over the Wasanasan.
I think I found the one.